Eat My Shorts
by Starrydog
Summary: Catrina Alvarez is the new kid on the block, like always. She's only been going to Shermer High for a week and the vice principal already has it out for her, not that she doesn't deserve it. John Bender x OC
1. Detention

**A/n John Hughes owns the script and characters for The Breakfast Club. I only own Catrina, my OC**

Saturday, March 24, 1984. Shermer High School, Shermer, Illinois.

Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was that we did wrong, what we did was wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write this essay telling you who we think we are, what do you care? You see us as you want to see us. In the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, a criminal and a rogue. Correct? That's the way we saw each other at seven o'clock this morning. We were brainwashed...


	2. Arrivals And Introductions

I sat on a stone divider across the parking lot and watched my fellow detentionees arrive, not that I would know any of them, it was only my first week at Shermer. I took a drag on my cigarette and watched a car drive up. It was pretty nice looking, fairly new, I assumed. A minute or two later a red head stepped out. Even from this distance I could tell she was pouting. I checked out her clothes. _A popular, without a doubt. She'll be a pain in the ass._

The next kid looks like a complete dweeb. _Great, another whiner._ It was getting pretty close to the time we had to be there and I didn't plan on being late and give Vernon an opportunity to nail me with more detentions. I stood up and crushed the cigarette butt under my skate shoe. I put down my board and rolled up to the school and entered behind a girl dressed in dark clothing and a parka.

I entered the library and surveyed the scene. Red sat next to a kid who could only be a jock in the front right row. Directly behind the populars was a slightly sketchy looking guy in a trench coat, his feet were kicked up on the table. Definitely classified as hot in my books. He didn't look too annoying. The nerd sat on the opposite side of the aisle from him and the girl I had seen walking in had taken her seat at the back desk, farthest from everyone else.

I continued on my way to my seat and took a note book off the front desk and shoved it in my moss green shoulder bag. I sat down in the seat next to trench coat dude and slung my bag onto the floor beside my seat. He raised his eyebrows and seemed surprised. He was about to say something when Dick walked in.

"Well. Well. Here we are! I want to congratulate you for being on time."

Red raised her hand. "Excuse me, sir? I think there's been a mistake. I know it's detention, but...um...I don't think I belong in here."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Tough luck Princess." She turned and glared at me.

Vernon went right on talking. " It is now seven-oh-six. You have exactly eight hours and fifty four minutes to think about why you're here. To ponder the error of your ways."

The kid next to me leaned back and spat into the air, catching it in his mouth again. Red looks totally disgusted and holds back a gag. I raise my eyebrow and smirk, that really can't be all that easy. Trench coat returned the smirk.

Dick continues unhindered. "You may not talk. You will not move from these seats." The nerd who was about to move sat back down. Vernon made his way over to our desk. "And you, will not sleep." He knocked Trench coat's feet of the desk and glared at both of us. "Alright people, we're gonna try something a little different today. We are going to write an essay, of no less than a thousand words, describing to me who you think you are."

Trench coat looked up. "Is this a test?"

Vernon ignored him and began passing out paper and pencils. Once again he stopped when he reached our desk. I leaned back in my chair and glared at him. "Gonna lay some more rules on us, Dick?"

He turned his attention towards me. "For that, Miss Alvarez, I will see you next Saturday." He passed us paper and pencils. "And when I say essay, I mean essay. I do not mean a single word repeated a thousand times. Is that clear Mr. Bender and Miss Alvarez?"

"Crystal."

"Sure thing, Chief." My words were laced with malice.

"You just earned another Saturday. You will learn I am not a man to be messed with."

I slumped lower in my seat. "Shit." _Well, he officially hates my guts._

"Good." Said Vernon. "Now maybe you'll learn something about yourself. Maybe you'll even decide whether or not you care to return."

The nerd raised his hand and stood up. "You know, I can answer that right now sir. That'd be no for me 'cause-"

"Sit down Johnson."

He looked worried and sat down. "Thank you sir."

"My office is right around that hall." He pointed. "Any monkey business in ill advised. Any questions?"

Bender spoke up. "Yeah, I got a question." Vernon narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?" I smirked.

"I'll give you the answer to that question, Mr. Bender, next Saturday. Don't mess with the bull young man, you'll get the horns." He mimed bull horns with his hand and left.

"That man, is a brownie hound."

"Damn right."I agreed, putting my feet on the desk and getting comfortable.


	3. Meet John Bender

I settled in and leaned my chair on it's back legs. "Snap. Snap. Snap." My chair dropped to the ground and I turned towards the noise. "Snap." The girl dressed in black was intent on biting her nails. Loudly. I raised one eyebrow and gave her a look. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Bender widen his. By now, everyone was staring at her. She raised her head and noticed us. She shot a death glare right back at our surprised faces and returned to her hand. "Snap."

"You keep eating your hand and you're not gonna be hungry for lunch." Said Bender. The girl focused her glare and spat the bit of chewed nail. It went a remarkably long distance, though still came nowhere close to our desk "I've seen you before, you know."

I saw Dick poke his head out of his office. "Doesn't he have anything better to do?" I gestured towards his office.

"I know you haven't been here long, Sweets, but I thought you would have figured out that man has no life."

"Who am I? Who are you? Who are you?" The dweeb had his pen in his mouth and was talking to himself. I watched in confusion. "I am a walrus."

"So does that make me a lone wolf?" I gave a howl.

He saw us watching him and took the pen out of his mouth, embarrassed. Soon both boys began removing their coats. Bender saw the nerd doing this and stared him down. I decided to join the staring match. The kid pulled his jacket back on and rubbed his hands, pretending to be cold. Bender finishes with his coat, but we both continue glaring at him. "It's the shits, huh." He forced out an uncomfortable laugh.

Bender crushes his paper into a ball an tosses it over the heads of the jock and princess and into a waste paper basket.

"Score!" I yell pumping my fists in the air. The occupants of the desk ahead ignore us. Bender gave a laugh and smiled at me. My stomach fluttered and I thought about hot he was. _What are you thinking? You just met this guy, you don't even know his first name._ I quickly look away, blushing and started drumming on the table to distract myself.

He quickly recognized the beat and began miming an air guitar and 'singing' along to Sunshine of Your Love. "Nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah." Funny, he didn't strike me as someone who would listen to Cream. The Princess rolled her eyes. "I can't believe this is really happening to me."

"Well I guess you're just gonna hafta buck it up, Buttercup." My voice dripped with sarcasm. Once again, the populars pretended I didn't exist. I started thinking about Bender again, and stumbled upon an idea. I took my piece of paper and wrote on it before sliding it across the table.

 **what's your name**

He scanned my note, then began to write back, sliding the paper across the desk when he had finished.

 **John. what about you**

 **Catrina. what are you here for**

 **I pulled the fire alarm on tuesday. how did you end up stuck in here, Beautiful**

I pretended I didn't see the end of the last note. The butterflies in my stomach, however, were not on board with the plan. I sent the sheet back. As for how I got here? I spray painted the school. I thought I did a damn fine job, too. It was a stencil of a young girl holding an atomic bomb. I wrote 'THE AMERICAN PEACEMAKER' in red above my depiction.

 **I improved the paint job on the back wall of the school. I think I should be thanked for a job well done not punished. it looks better now. P.S. thanks for the alarm, I never would have survived an hour of english**

 **You're the one who did the graffiti? that must have taken forever, it actually looks good!** **watch this**.

I looked at John and he winked. I felt my stomach twist a bit. _You just met. Why are you acting like this?_ "Oh shit! What're we s'posed to do if we hafta take a piss?" I couldn't wait to see where this was going.

Queenie looked disgusted. "Please."

Bender continued, "If you gotta go, you gotta go." he unzipped his fly. Instantly four pairs of eyes focused on him while I struggled to contain my laughter.

Red's eyes were as big as saucers as her disgust was brought to a whole new level. "Oh my God!"

Sporto turned around. "Hey, you're not urinating in here, man!

He leaned against the desk. "Don't talk! Don't talk! It makes it crawl back up." The nerd tries to look under the desk. _Perv._

"Whip it out, and you're dead before the first drop hit's the floor!"

John gasped mockingly. "You're pretty sexy when you get angry." I gave a little growl. Bender looked at me a moment, then turned to Johnson. "Hey, homeboy," Johnson points at himself with a pen. "Why don't you go close that door, and we'll get the prom queen and the rogue impregnated." Red gives him shoots him a glare. I take a different approach.

I grabbed his neck and pulled myself onto his lap. He couldn't hide the surprise on his face. I positioned myself so I was pressed against his chest, and couldn't help but notice how solid his chest was. _Damn, I bet he's hot_. I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck, while his automatically circled my waist. I could feel his heart beat faster. At this point I could feel everyone's eyes boring into me. I ran my hand through his hair and I swear he shivered. I whispered in his ear, "So you want some action?" He swallowed, our faces were inches away. His gaze flickered to my lips. I began to lean in, then, "Too bad!" I hopped off his lap.

Bender was shocked. Everybody's mouth hung open. "What? I was just having a bit of fun."

John regained his composure. "I still stand by my offer."

I rolled my eyes. "Offer? Please, you just wanted to piss Queenie off to get a reaction, and you got one! Probably not what you were expecting."

"Whatever."


	4. Clubs

"Hey!" The jock tried to get Bender's attention. "Hey!"

He turned towards him. "What?!"

"If I lose my temper you're totaled man." Said Sporto with assurance _._ I scoffed _. Like that's gonna happen._

"Totally?" John mocked.

His tone passed over the jock's head. "Totally!"

Red decided to make her presence known to us. She looked at Bender. "Why don't you just shut up? Nobody here is interested!"

"Really." Added the sport.

I snapped my fingers to get their attention. "Oh, but I'm very interested and last time I checked I'm a person."

"Barely." Princess gave a snooty eye roll and turned away.

I kept my face impassive, not showing how much one word hurt.

"Buttface." Said the jock.

"Wow, Sporto, that's a real snappy name. What did you do to get in here anyway? Forget to wash your jock?" I said sarcastically. Bender smirked at me. My stomach did a little flutter.

Johnson suddenly showed surprising initiative. "Uh... Excuse me, guys? I think we should just write our papers."

The athlete turned and glared at us. "Just because you two live in here doesn't give you the right to be a pain in the ass. So knock it off!"

"It's a free country."

Once again, to my displeasure, Red made the mistake of opening her mouth. "They're just doing it to get a rise out of you. Ignore them.

"Sweets." Said Bender. "You couldn't ignore me if you tried."

She just rolled her eyes. I can't stand jerks like her. _They're all the same. "look at me! I'm so pretty! I'm so popular! I've never had to work for anything in my entire life!"_

"So...so." I started. "Are you two like boyfriend/girlfriend?" The populars continued to pay me no attention.

After a second John caught on. "Steady dates?"

"Lo-vers?"

"Come on Sporto, level with me. Do you slip her the hot...beef...injection?"

They spun around, furious and screamed: "Go to hell!" "Enough!"

I smiled at John. _They make it to easy to mess with them._ He returned with his signature smirk and winked. I looked away, I could feel myself blushing.

"Hey! What's going on in there!" Yelled Vernon from his office.

Damn. I forgot about Dick.

"Scumbag."

"Wow Slick, yet another witty remark." I said while climbing with Bender to sit on the railing. He offered me a hand and pulled me up. I didn't want him to let go of my hand. He did. _You can't like him! You know nothing about him!_

"What do say we close that door. We can't have any sort of a party with Vernon checking us out every few seconds."

I clapped my hands together. "I'm game."

Johnson looked up. "You know the door's s'posed to stay open."

"So?" I questioned.

The jock whipped around to deliver another stunning observation. "So why don't you just shut up! There's four other people in here you know."

"God, you can count! See! I knew you had to be smart to be a...a wrestler." John mocked.

"Who the hell are you to judge anybody anyway."

Red rolled her eyes. "Really."

The sport ignored me and continued on. "You know, you two don't even count. I mean, if you disappeared forever it wouldn't really make a difference. You guys might as well not even exist at this school."

Ouch. That was harsh. I knew I hadn't been here long, but it still hurts hearing you don't matter. I knew what he said was true, But that just made it worse. John looked away. I could tell similar thoughts were running through his head.

"Well," Bender announced, "I'll just run right out and join the wrestling team."

Red and Sporto laughed.

"I'll go for the prep club. Student council too!" I added.

"No, they wouldn't take you."

Bender put a hand on his chest. "I'm hurt."

Sadly once again, Miss Precious Princess felt the need to put in her two cents. "You know why guys like you two knock everything?"

"This should be stunning."

"A true intellectual gem."

"It's cause you're afraid."

"Oh, God! You ritchies are so smart, that's exactly why we're not heavy in activities!" Said John, putting an arm around my shoulders. Once again I felt my stomach flip. _No! No! No!_

"You're both just big cowards." The Princess continued.

The nerd, apparently feeling left out, decides to join in. "I'm in the math club."

For some reason Queenie keeps on with her monologue. "See you're afraid that they won't take you. You don't belong so you just have to dump all over it."

I roll my eyes.

"Well, it wouldn't have anything to do with you activities people being assholes, now would it?" Bender points out.

"You wouldn't know. You don't even know any of us."

"I'm pretty sure the both of us don't know any lepers either, and I can't speak for Cat, but I'm not gonna run out and join one of their fucking clubs."

 _So I'm Cat now. Not bad for a nickname._

"Hey, let's watch the mouth, huh." The sport chimed in.

I smirked. "Damn right, Sporto. Let's not have any more fucking swearing."

The jock glared at me, but had enough sense to keep his trap shut. Red let out a little giggle and I stared at her in surprise. Who knew the princess had a sense of humor. She quickly regained her composure.

It seems Johnson once again feels the need to contribute. "I'm in the physics club too."

John took notice of the nerd. "S'cuse me a sec." He said turning to the geek. "What are you babbling about?"

"Well, what I said was, I'm in the math club, the Latin club, and the physics-physics club." He counted them off on his fingers.

Bender turned to the princess. "Hey, Cherry, do you belong to the physics club?"

She rolled her eyes. "That's an academic club."

"So?" I added, happy that John's arm was still around my shoulders.

"So, academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs."

Bender raises a hand in the air, preparing to prove a point. "Oh, but to dorks like him, they are." He stated, pointing at Johnson. "What do you guys do in your club?"

"In physics we, um, we ah, we talk about physics, about properties of physics." He stuttered.

"So it's sorta social." Surmised Bender.

"Demented and sad, but social. Right?" I continued.

The nerd looked uncomfortable. "Yeah, well, I guess you could consider it a social situation. I mean there are other children in my club and uh, at the end of the year we have, um, you know, a big banquet, at the, uh, at the Hilton."

"You load up, you party."

"Well, no. We get dressed up, I mean, but we don't- we don't get high."

The queen of judgement laughed. "Only burners like you guys get high."

I rolled my eyes. "Well Red, I'd rather laugh with the sinners."

Johnson began to ramble. "And, uh, I didn't have any shoes. So I had to borrow my dad's. It was kinda weird 'cause my mom doesn't like me to wear other people's shoes. And, uh, my cousin Kent- my cousin Kendall from, uh, Indiana. He got high once and you know, he started eating like really weird foods. And uh, and then he just felt like he didn't belong anywhere. You know, kinda like, you know "Twilight Zone" kinda."

Queenie really laughed now. "Sounds like you two."

For once I took the high road and ignored her.


	5. There's a Reason He's Called Dick

Sporto was becoming annoyed. "Look, you guys keep up your talking and Vernon's gonna come right in here.I got a meet this Saturday and I'm not gonna miss it on account of you boneheads."

 _Wow, I swear he wants someone to take the mickey out of him._

Bender was happy to oblige. "Oh and wouldn't that be a bite." He moaned in mock agony. "Missing a whole wresting meet."

"Well you wouldn't know anything about it, faggot! You never competed in your whole life!"

"Yo! I thought we were gonna watch the fucking mouth dickwad!"

He's really pissed now. "Shut it! Neither of you have ever had to go to a meet!"

"Oh, I know.I feel all empty inside because of it. I have such a deep admiration for guys that roll around on the floor with other guys!" Bender says, voice coated in sarcasm.

The jock looked away in disgust. "Ahhh. You'd never miss it. You don't have any goals."

John was determined to really press this guy's buttons. "Oh, but I do!"

"Yeah?" He raises his eyebrows, surprised.

"I wanna be just-like-you!" He pointed at the sport with each word for emphasis. "I figure all I need's a lobotomy and some tights!"

I snickered at this. "Got that right." My stomach is filled with a butterflies when John returns his arm to my shoulders and gives them a squeeze. _Stupid butterflies! He doesn't like you!_

The nerd perks up with interest. "You wear tights?"

Sporto did not appreciate this. "No I don't wear tights, I wear the required uniform."

"Tights." The nerd and I say at the same time, affirming Johnson's previous statement.

"Shut up!" He snaps defensively.

There's is a clattering in the hallway announcing the return of Dick. John jumps down from the railing and pulls me back into our previous seats. I clasp my hands in my lap and sit straight. We soon see Vernon cross into his office.

"Woo!" John laughs, jumping up and heading for the front of the room. I watched him, wondering what exactly he was planning.

The nerd seemed to get nervous and worry about whatever Bender might be intending to do. "You know there's not s'posed to be any monkey business!"

"Have you finished your paper?" He asked, mimicking Dick while pointing at Johnson. He starts fiddling with the door mechanism.

the populars turn to each other. "What's he gonna do?" Asks Red.

"Drop dead I hope."

"God Sporto, it truly saddens me that's the best you can come up with. It's just pitiful. I mean I'm getting secondhand embarrassment just being near you."

Just then the door slams shut with a bang, sending John scrambling back to his seat next to me. "Keep this safe for me, Sweets." He shoves a screw into my hands.

I quickly shove the incriminating object in the only place I can think of that won't be searched, my bra.

Bender raises his eyebrows in surprise, making me blush.

Everyone has recovered from their shock and began yelling. I heard Dick swearing and coming to yell at us for closing the door. "Everyone just shut up!" I yelled.

Vernon stormed through the newly closed door, fit to be tied. "Why is that door closed?!"

No one says a word.

"How're we s'posed to know? We're not s'posed to move, right?" John pipes up.

He turns to the princess. "Why?!" he demands.

 _Oh shit. She'll rat on us and we're so busted._ I braced myself for the inevitable

"We were just sitting here, like we were s'posed to." She lied.

 _Color me impressed._

He spins to our table. "Who closed that door?"

"I think a screw fell out of it."

"It just closed sir." We answer.

Dick focuses his attention on the girl in the back. Honestly I had forgotten she was even here. "Who?"

She squeaked and slammed her head against the desk. It sounded awfully painful.

"She doesn't talk, sir." I said and instantly regretted drawing attention to myself.

"Give me that screw Alvarez!" He yells pointing at me.

I admit I was a bit surprised, despite having the screw. "Why do you think I have it? What have I done to you?"

"I know it was you who closed that door! You've been nothing but trouble since you came to this school!" He was pointing at me and yelling at this point and I was feeling a bit wrongly prosecuted.

I jumped up. "I've only been here a week! You don't know me! You never even tried!" I had pretty much lost my cool by now.

"You have two more Saturdays for talking back! Now give me that screw before I have to yank you out of that seat and shake it out of you!" He bellowed, pointing at me accusingly.

I took a deep breath and sat down. _Calm down. Don't let him win by losing your shit. I can do more damage with a clear head._ I took a few seconds before responding to reign in my temper. "Sir, I believe that would be abuse. If you value your job, it's not a wise option."

He clenched his fists and was on the borderline of growling. "Give it to me Alvarez."

"That would be sexual abuse, and that's even worse."

"That's another Saturday! Now give me the screw." Vernon said through clenched teeth.

Queenie spoke up. "Excuse me, sir, why would anybody want to steal a screw?"

I shot her a grateful look.

He turned to her. "Watch it young lady." He goes to the door and begins to attempt to prop it open.


	6. Cracking Skulls

The chair he was using to prop the door would never work. Any one who wasn't an idiot could see that. John spoke up. "The door is way to heavy, sir."

Dick ignored him and attempted to shut the door. the flimsy folding chair flew into the hall, accompanied with a slew of swears from Vernon. _Just shows how intelligent the people in charge are. Nice._

He reenters the library looking pissed. " Andrew Clark!" He points at the jock. "Get up here. Come on, front and center, let's go."

"Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up, it'll be anarchy!" John yells as Sporto helps lift the magazine rack into the doorway, successfully propping the door. I smirked at his comment. "It's out of my hands."

The rack now blocks the entire door, and Andrew clumsily stumbles over the rack, destroying magazines along the way.

"That's very clever sir, but what if there's a fire? I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this juncture in your career, sir."

I inwardly smile, knowing he's already won this battle.

Vernon ponders Bender's point for a moment, then turns to Andrew. "Alright, what are you doing with this? Get this outta here for God's sake! What's the matter with you? Come on!"

 _What a prick! He doesn't even take the blame for his own mistakes!_

Johnson made the mistake of choosing this moment to try to be helpful in his own oblivious way. "You know the school comes equipped with fire exits at either end of the library." He said, gesturing to them.

"Show Dick some respect!" I glared, effectively shutting him up.

They remove the magazines and Dick pushes Andrew back to his seat. "I expected a little more from a varsity letterman." He says, disgusted like it wasn't his idea in the first place.

"Excuse me, sir, but Andrew hasn't done anything." Everyone turned to look at me. _Curse my big, fucking mouth._

Vernon's wrath was now focused on me. _Crap._ "You're not fooling anybody, Alvarez! The next screw that falls out is gonna be you! The same goes for you, Bender!" He yelled, pointing at us.

I opened my mouth to snap back, but John beat me to the punch. "Eat my shorts." He mumbled.

"What did you say?" Dick asks, coming over to stand in front of our desk.

 _Oh shit._

John glares up at him and crosses his arms. "Eat. My. Shorts."

"You just bought yourself another Saturday, mister!" Vernon was livid.

"I'm crushed." Sarcasm dripped from his words.

"You just bought one more right there!"

"Well, I'm free the Saturday after that. Beyond that, I'm gonna have to check my calendar!"

"Good! 'Cause it's gonna be filled, we'll keep going! You want another one? Say the word, just say the word! Instead of going to prison, you'll come here!" Bender glare at him, weighing his options. " Are you through?"

"No!"

"I'm doing society a favor!" Dick yelled.

"So?"

"That's another one, right now! I've got you for the rest of your natural born life if you don't watch your step! You want another one?"

"Yes!"

"You got it! You got another one, right there! That's another one pal!"

I could see neither of them were apt to stop anytime soon and I began to fear Bender really would be here until the end of time. "Cut it out!" I mouthed for him to stop.

they both ignored me. "You through?"

"Not even close, bud!" Bender said, full of malice.

"Good! you got one more, right there!"

"Do you really think I give a shit?"

"Another!" There was a pause in their banter, as John realized just how deep of shit he was in. "You through?"

"How many is that?" He asked.

Leave it to the nerd to have kept count. "That's seven including the one when we first came in and you asked Mr. Vernon here whether Barry Manilow knew that he raided his closet."

Dick pointed to John. "Now it's eight!" He turned to Johnson. "You stay out of it!"

The poor kid really didn't know when to keep his mouth shut. "Excuse me, sir, it's seven."

"Shut up, Peewee!" He returned focus to John. "You're mine Bender. For two months I gotcha. I gotcha!"

"What can I say? I'm thrilled."

"Oh, I'm sure that's exactly what you want these people to believe. You know something, Bender? You ought to spend a little more time trying to do something with yourself and a little less time trying to impress people. You might be better off."

 _That was so unfair! How can a teacher say that?_ My blood boiled. I moved to get up, but John grabbed my hand and gave a squeeze, silently asking me to leave it. He continued holding my hand, not that I minded. A glimmer of hope ignited. _Maybe he likes me back? No. Don't be crazy._

"Alright, that's it! I'm going to be right outside those doors. The next time I have to come in here, I'm cracking skulls!"

Bender mouthed the last part along with him.

Vernon left, giving us his signature horns/rock and roll sign. The door slammed behind him.

"FUCK YOU!" Screamed John.

 _Ditto to that sentiment._


	7. Maxi-Zoom-Dweebie!

Saying I was bored is an understatement. I was about ready to start beating my head against the table just to shake things up a bit. I gazed longingly at the clock. My forehead really did meet the desk with a loud, painful sounding thud _Seven forty five? I could have sworn it was almost lunch._

I lifted my head and saw John giving me a confused look with one eyebrow raised. "You know Dick didn't literally mean 'cracking skulls'."

I blushed, embarrassed. He took out a carton of cigarettes and took one, then offered the box to me. I grabbed the death stick and reached for my lighter in the back pocket of my jeans. He put up his hand to stop me. "Check this." He struck a match and brings it to the sole of his boot, somehow lighting it on fire. "My lady." He joked, offering his burning shoe.

"Thanks." I inhaled, then blew out a cloud of smoke and leaned back, kicking my feet up on the desk. I watched John extinguish his burning boot and pretend play the guitar. His movements were practiced and precise, I realized he probably did play. _Wow, hot and talented. Stupid hormones! I don't get close to people! I don't like people! I'll just leave soon anyway!_ He caught me staring, and flicked his hair back, and gave me a small nod. _Shit, I've got it bad... Fuck sensibility. I'm a teenager, it's my job to be a hormonal idiot._ I grabbed the essay paper from the table and began writing again. Subtlety has never been an art I've mastered, and I'm not one for playing hard to get. I tend to say what I think, and I may have just thrown myself off the cliff.

 **I like you** I hoped those three words wouldn't mean my doom, as I slid them across the table.

He read them and his eyes widened. He wrote back. **I like you too**

It was my turn for the wide eyes. That wasn't really what I was expecting. My heart did a little happy dance. Emboldened by success, once again I threw caution to the wind, and moved so my back was pressed up against him, leaning against his chest. He stiffened at first, surprised by my boldness, before settling in an wrapping his arms around me. We sat like that for a while, my eyes feeling heavier, I soon succumbed to sleep.

"Wake up!" I ignored Vernon, enjoying the feeling of John's embrace.

"Who has to go to the lavatory?" I had to admit I did, apparently same as everyone else.

When I returned to the library, I shot the clock another glance. Ten twenty two. John was ripping the pages out of thick book and throwing them about the room, while I crouched beneath him, intent on thoroughly screwing up the card catalog drawer. It was the least we could do for Dick, a thank you gift for his troubles.

"That's real intelligent."

"You're right. It's wrong to destroy literature." He agreed with the jock, continuing to shred the book.

I look up. "It's such fun to read." I added sarcastically. I wasn't much of a nonfiction reader.

"Molet really pumps my nads!"

"Mol-yare." The princess corrected, much to my surprise.

 _Queenie has a brain! And who would have thought, she's actually smart!_

I guess Johnson was feeling left out again. "I love his work." He sounded enamored. A fist full of pages flew at him, causing him to duck behind a column.

"Big deal. Nothing to do when you're locked in a vacancy." John stated, sounding bored.

Sporto scoffed. "Speak for yourself." He leaned against the railing.

We both glared at him. "Do you think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language."

The jock ignored us and turned to Red. "Hey, you grounded tonight?"

She shrugged. "I don't know, my mom said I was but my dad told me to just blow her off."

"Big party at Stubbies, parents are in Europe. Should be pretty wild."

 _Oh, now I understand. He's trying to make us jealous. Good luck Jockstrap, who gives a fuck?_

Red seemed intrigued. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, can you go?"

"I doubt it." She sighed.

He furrowed his brow. "How come?"

She looked down and almost seemed sad. Like her prissy rich girl facade dropped for a second. "Well 'cause if I do what my mother tells me not to do, it's because because my father says it's okay. There's like this whole big monster deal, it's endless and it's a total drag. It's like any minute...divorce."

I understood how she felt. When I was eleven, my foster home was great. The parents were kind and so were the kids, they loved me and I loved them. Then for whatever reason, they started fighting, always yelling and disagreeing. The poor kids were ripped in half, forced to pick sides. I couldn't hack it, so I left. But Red doesn't have that option.

"Who do you like better?" It was John, jolting me from my thoughts.

"What?"

"You like your old man better than your mom?" It was an honest question.

She shrugged her shoulders again. "Their both strict."

"No, I mean, if you had to choose between them." He explained.

"I dunno, I'd probably go live with my brother. I mean, I don't think either one of them gives a shit about me. It's like they use me just to get back at each other." As much as she irked me, I couldn't help feeling sorry for her.

"HA!" The sudden noise made us all jump. It was the girl in the back. I had completely forgot she was even here. She blew her hair out of her eyes and grinned.

"Shut up!" Everyone stared at me, shocked. I suppose I deserved that, after spending the last couple hours ragging on her. No one expected me to come to her defense.

Jockey rejoined the conversation. "You're just feeling sorry for yourself."

I opened my mouth to tell him off, but Red beat me to the punch. "Yeah, well if I didn't nobody else would."

 _Sympathy gone._

"Aw, you're breaking my heart." The jock's words were coated in sarcasm. For once, I completely agreed with him.

"Hey Sporto." John called.

"What?"

He jumped off the railing where he had been siting an stood directly in front of Jockstrap, looking down on him. "Do you get along with your parents?"

"Well if I say yes, I'm an idiot, right?"

"You're an idiot anyway, but if you say you get along with your parents well you're a liar too." He walked away, thinking he had got the last word in, only to have a pissed Sporto push him from behind. He whirled around, caught off guard and put on edge. _This could get ugly._

"You know something, man, If we weren't in school right now, I'd waste you!"

They squared off, so close they were almost touching. John puts his hand out with his fingers down. "Can you hear this? Want me to turn it up?" He flipped his hand, giving Jockstrap the bird.

Poor, oblivious, idiot Johnson tried to diffuse the situation, laying a hand on both of the boys' arms. "Hey fellas...I mean..." They both rudely shrug him off. The jock glared at the both of them and stalked away. "I don't like my parents either, I don't-I don't get along with them. Their idea of parental compassion is just, you know, wacko!"

John clapped him on the arm. "Dork?"

"Yeah?"

"You're a parent's wet dream, okay?" He started to walk away, only to be called back.

"Well that's a problem!"

He turned back. "Look, I can see you getting all bunged up for them making you wear these kinda clothes. But face it, you're a Neo-Maxi-Zoom-Dweebie! What would you be doing if you weren't out making yourself a better citizen?" He used his hands for emphasis. The poor kid hung his head, thoroughly shamed.

I honestly think Jockstrap was looking for a fight. "Why do you have to insult everybody?"

"I'm being honest, asshole! I would expect you to know the difference!"

"Yeah, well he's got a name!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!" He turned to the nerd. "What's your name?"

 _Well that totally killed his argument. Dear Jockstrap isn't one for thinking things through._

"Brian."

Sporto was triumphant, though the reason why eludes me. "See?"

John looks back at him. "My condolences."

 _That was rude. I think Brian is a fine name._

 **A/N Thank you to everyone who has read this far, and an extra huge thanks with marshmallows and sprinkles on top to XenaHime53 and scripturient3201 for reviewing! I know it's a while away, but I would really like to hear if you people think I should continue the story beyond detention or not. If you have any ideas, don't hesitate to tell me!**


	8. What's Your Name?

"What's your name?" Red asked, turning to face me.

 _Well, well, well. The boredom finally got the best of her._ "What's yours?" I walked around and leaned over the front of her desk. I was probably the only kid in the school who didn't know her name judging by her expression of shock.

Queenie quickly reigned in all traces of emotion and returned to being stony faced."Claire."

"Claire?" It was exactly the sort of name I would picture her having.

"It's a family name."

 _Even more of a cliche._

John popped up from behind me and slung his arm around my shoulder. "No. It's a fat girl's name."

She really tried to not look offended. "Well thank you."

"You're welcome."

Claire paused for a second. _Wow, she might actually let that comment go. I'm impressed._

"I'm not fat!"

 _Or not._ She really should have just left it, but now she's given the opportunity to push more of her buttons.

"Well not at present but I could see you really pushing maximum density." John started. "You see, I'm not sure if you know this, but there are two kinds of fat people. There's fat people that were born to be fat, and then there's fat people that were once thin but they became fat, so when you look at them you can sorta see that thin person inside." He spoke as if explaining it to a small child, which really pissed her off.

I decided against my better judgement to go one step further. "You see, you're gonna get married, you're gonna squeeze out a few puppies and then..." I mimed becoming fat.

Red glared and flipped us the bird.

I put my hand over my mouth in mock surprise. "Obscene finger gestures from such a pristine girl." I felt a little bad about bullying her, then I remembered, she does this to everyone else, every single day. Once again, my devil's advocate seemed to have beaten my underdeveloped conscious. I blame foster care.

"I'm not that pristine!"

 _Bad move, Red. We all know you are, and now you're never gonna hear the end of it._

I saw John smirk out of the corner of my eye as he leaned over the desk. "Are you a virgin? I'll bet you a million dollars that you are. Let's end the suspense. Is it gonna be... a white wedding?"

"Why don't you just shut up?" She suggested

"Have you ever kissed a boy on the mouth?" He further pressed. "Have you ever been felt up? Over the bra, under the blouse, shoes off, hoping to God your parents don't walk in?"

He had gone to far, and it was easy to see he had gotten under her skin. "Do you want me to puke?" She asked quietly, attempting to seem unaffected.

He was about to go on, but I intervened. I lightly grabbed his shoulder and guided him against the opposite desk and placed my hand on his chest, getting close. "What about you?" I asked quietly. "Shirt unbuttoned, hands all over you, jeans in the front seat, in an empty lot after the movies?" He visibly swallowed and he blushed a bit. It was nice to know I totally threw him off.

The argument was over and Claire was left with some dignity, unfortunately Jockstrap just couldn't help his impulse to get in on the action. "Why don't the both of you dumbasses shut up and quit tag teaming on everyone."

I swear to God, that dude wants a fight.

Predictably, John took offence. "You gonna make me?"

"Yeah."

He jumped the desk and crossed over to the jock. "You and how many of your friends?"

"Just me, just you and me. Two hits. Me hitting you, you hitting the floor! Anytime you're ready, pal!"

I tried to defuse the tension. "That's your best line so far! I knew you could do better than 'buttface'." Despite the fact that the current situation could turn ugly fast, I had to give Sporto props. If anything they were closer to a fight. _Mission Divert Brawl, equals failure. Shit._

John laughed, then went in like he meant to hit him. It took about three seconds for the shorter, but far brawnier boy to have him in a wrestling hold with his face smashed against the nasty, library carpet. That shit probably only gets cleaned twice a year, gross. "I don't wanna get into this with you man." Trying to sound tough while your face is being ground into the floor just doesn't work.

I rolled my eyes. "John, now would be a good time to close your trap."

Jockey gets up. "Why not?"

John peels himself off the ground with as much dignity as he could muster, turning out to be a good deal more than I thought. "'Cause I'd kill you." He began to walk backwards. "It's real simple. I'd kill you and your fucking parents would sue me and it would be a big mess and I don't care enough about you to bother."

"Chicken shit." He scoffed.

He pulled out a switchblade and opened it. The room got quiet, and for a minute I really thought he was gonna do something. Then he stabbed it into the chair next to the real quiet girl.

The sport turned around and pointed at the both of us. "Let's end this right now. You two don't talk to her! You don't look at her! And you don't even think about her! You understand me?"

He shrugged. "We're trying to help her."

 **A/N Hello to anybody who's still reading this. Sorry I haven't updated in like, forever. I'm honestly really not sure why I didn't, so yeah, if anyone's reading this I'll update probably like every week or two.**

 **Oh! And another thing I was wondering, I have a Sirius Black fanfiction, and if anyone would be interested in reading it I can put it on here. So, if you're, like interested, then just tell me and I'll do that.**

 **Peace out!**


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